The Bear
by weiwolf
Summary: Ryoma always thought his sempais were a bit weird. But he never thought he'd get dragged into some stupid plan to hunt for a bear with laser eyes and wizard powers.
1. The Clueless Clues

Disclaimer: Too good to be mine.

* * *

Chapter One

"Ooooo-CHIBI!" There was a loud screech that filled up the air as Eiji skidded to a stop next to Ryoma. Ryoma attempted to escape, but to no avail.

"What?" he snapped grumpily. Eiji's voice continued to echo through his head, and that just filled him with a loud humming in his ears.

"We-are-going-to-catch-the-bear-with-laser-eyes-simply-because-he-has-wizard-powers! Nya!" Eiji was talking unusually fast, and he seemed to be in a super-hyper mode. Eji winked. Ryoma blinked. And Eiji ran off, dragging a protesting Momo with him.

_What was that about?_ He wondered. "Eh? Well, I think today's the day the Seigaku regulars have cracked up."

That was the most plausible explanation, so Ryoma took it. He didn't seem to have realized that he was a regular too. _Well, why should I care what they're doing?_ He mused silently to himself. _Why should I care if they're going to trap a giant bear with laser eyes and wizard powers? It's not like there's such thing of that…_

But the truth was, Ryoma didn't like to feel left out. It left this irritating feel on the top of his head. He yawned to cover up. _Why should I get involved? I'm happy right here…_

Fuji rounded the corner, and he nearly crashed into him. Luckily for Ryoma, his tennis reflexes enabled him to swerve. Sure, he swerved wildly and nearly crashed into the mailbox outside his house, but he managed to preserve his dignity by clutching at the gate post.

"Hi," greeted Fuji. Ryoma gave him a suspicious look, but Fuji continued to smile serenely. Finally, Ryoma replied:

"Yo."

There was a pause. Then Fuji continued to walk, adding a quick, "bye!" behind him.

_Wait a minute!_ "Fuji-senpai, what are you doing around here?" Now to think of it, Fuji lived nowhere close to here. What could have led him here..?

"Sorry, Echizen! No time to answer!" Fuji waved back. "I've got to go. I promised Inui that I'd try his new juice: Higuma Otoshi."

Ryoma was more grumpier from the quick reply he got from his senpai, as if he wasn't important enough to have a question properly answered. He needed a target to glare at. If it was any normal day, and Momoshiro was walking him home, then he would've turned and glared at his friend. But no, Eiji just had to drag him along.

He turned to enter in the gate, and found an ugly, old bear. Ryoma glared at it. To his amazement, it glared right back at him and _scoffed_. Ryoma found this very shocking and disturbing.

"What…" he trailed off. The sight of the bear had just pricked at something in his mind. Bear with laser eyes and magic… Fuji's Higuma Otoshi… The ugly bear in front of his house…

"Ah, so that's how it is…" Ryoma smirked. "Mada mada dane, senpai-tachi." He grinned. Then he started to laugh.

"Ryoma-san, what are you doing out -," Nanako broke off at the sight of Ryoma laughing. Things were truly bizarre around the Echizen household. She shook her head and went back inside the house.

That night, Ryoma dreamed about bears.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This was my first fanfiction, but I started to go back and edit it. I changed the original story a little, but not much. Please criticize! 


	2. The Stupid Quest

Disclaimer: Takeshi Konomi's creation blended with my story.

* * *

Chapter Two

"Hey, look! It's Ryoma-sama!" At first, there was an eerie silence, as a few other fan girls swiveled their head to look at his way. It reminded Ryoma of a scary movie that he had seen before, with zombies greedily looking at the main character. He knew at once that he was experiencing something called "fan-girlism." It was incredibly dangerous, and he had to stop it before it went far. But it was too late. There was a loud shriek, followed by, "Let's follow him around all day, pestering him!"

There was no other option. Ryoma turned and ran for it.

"Ryoma-sama! Ryoma-SAMA!" Oh, god. He had ran into the classroom, and they trampled it down. Since it was the morning, no teachers were around, but the early students looked up, startled. He had entered an 8th grade classroom, and was desperate to turn back now.

But he had the worst luck ever. Momoshiro, for once, was one of these early birds. At first, Momoshiro merely looked confused. But he caught on quickly. Looking back and forth between Ryoma and the first year girls, he instantly understood.

_Help me, senpai,_ Ryoma begged silently.

His prayers were not answered.

"Hey, Echizen, you have so many admirers!" Momoshiro swung an arm around Ryoma's shoulder. _Oh… I'm going down…_

"Here, girls, I'll hold him down for you just so you can do whatever you want with him!" Momoshiro exclaimed, grinning cheekily.

But luckily, his plan backfired on him.

"Oh my god! It's Momo-chan-senpai! Let's get both of them!" There was a squeal, and then another voice called out, "Well, I'm going to kiss Ryoma-sama FORCIBLY, and then I'm going to kiss Momo-senpai UNINTENTIONALLY!"

Nobody bothered to point out that it was impossible to kiss someone "unintentionally" while planning it.

Ryoma felt many lips place themselves on his, and it was all misted in a swirl of confusion. But after the fan girls got what they wanted, they wandered out of the classroom.

Just then, Oishi passed by. And before Ryoma could shout out a warning, a girl shouted, "Oh… my… god! It's Oishi-senpai! We're going to be so popular today!" There was a mad scramble, and then Oishi was brutally attacked.

Normally, Momoshiro would try to help him out, but he felt that this time, it was best to simply wait it all out.

"Thanks a lot, Momo-senpai," said Ryoma, brushing himself off. He glared at Momoshiro, feeling as if the whole incident was _entirely_ his fault.

"Well, how was I supposed to know what would happen?"

"Excuse me…" said a soft voice from behind the two boys.

"What is it?" said Ryoma, annoyed. "Spit it out, Eiji-senpai." In his confusion, Ryoma thought that Eiji could actually have such a feminine voice.

Ryoma finally turned around to get a good luck at who was speaking with him. It was Sakuno, twiddling her fingers as usual. She looked startled to be addressed and mistaken for somebody else.

"Oh." It was that girl, Ryuuzaki. To complete the scene, she was wearing a cheerleading outfit with a grizzly bear on it. How romantic. "What do you want?"

"Oi, Echizen!" Momoshiro cuffed Ryoma on the head. "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki, Ryoma is mentally impaired." Then he pulled Ryoma aside. "What are you thinking of, punk?"

Ryoma was confused. He pulled away, now even more annoyed. "I wondered what she wanted."

Sakuno looked as if she was confused as to whether or not she should tell the two young regulars the news. "Ryoma-kun, Momo-chan-senpai, it's Bear Day," she started, gesturing toward the outfit she was wearing.

As Ryoma raised an eyebrow at the grizzly bear on her front, she blushed and stuttered out quickly, "And – and… senpai-tachi wanted me to fetch you two…" She faltered, eyes flicking nervously towards the two of them. "They should be at the tennis courts."

_So weird,_ Ryoma thought. He brushed past Sakuno, determined to get ahead of Momoshiro, ignoring cries of, "Oi, Echizen!"

As he walked into the tennis courts, all was silent. At first, Ryoma found the silence much peaceful than usual. But then, he found it a bit unnerving. Finally, he rolled his eyes and decided to actually _look_ at the regulars who were being so quiet. He found them looking very grave.

"Echizen! You seriously have no respect for your senpais!" It was Momoshiro, who was panting outrageously and leaning against the net heavily. He huffed indignantly, "You should wait for your elders! You should -," but he stopped right there.

There was another pause. Then Momoshiro, who looked as if he couldn't stand the suspense, cried out, "What happened? Why are you looking like that?"

And Eiji, who also looked as if he couldn't take the suspense, started wailing in agony, tearing out fistfuls of his hair. "The bear, Momo, the BEAR!" The last word was a screech so **screechy** that Ryoma tugged his hat harder over his ears.

"Ma, ma, don't worry," said Kawamura, trying to comfort Eiji hopelessly. "It's just a bear… we don't need a real bear to celebrate Bear Day."

But this, apparently, was the wrong thing to say.

"IT'S JUST A BEAR?!" shrieked Eiji. He kicked over a basket of tennis balls. Everybody cowered for their lives.

"JUST A BEAR? DO YOU – YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONG MOMO AND I TOOK, JUST TRYING TO CATCH THE THING!"

At this, he started crying harder, and he bit his own knuckles. Eiji looked quite insane now.

"AND IT WAS _SPECIAL_!" Eiji sobbed harder. "IT WAS MAGICAL AND COULD SHOOT LASER BEAMS OUT OF ITS EYES!"

Oishi, in a vain attempt to reassure Eiji, said, "Don't worry. Um… we'll find a way to manage."

Surprisingly enough, it worked.

"You… will?" snuffled Eiji, now back to normal. He wiped his eyes on his shirt, and then turned away, embarrassed. "You promise me you're going to recapture the bear for me?"

Oishi was stunned. "I… I only meant that…" but he trailed off when Eiji shot him _the look_. "Okay, I guess we will," he muttered, looking around desperately to prevent Eiji from going into another tantrum.

Now Eiji was back to being happy. "Yay!" He cried out, tugging at everyone's shirt. "Let's go right now!"

"What's happening?" boomed a deep, impressive voice. Tezuka loomed over the regulars like a bad omen. And he maintained such a fearsome aura that nobody, not even Eiji, dared defy his command. So nobody answered his question.

"If nothing's happening, then why did you request a meeting?" Everyone gave away clues: Ryoma and Momoshiro glared at Eiji; Fuji, who was standing on the left of Eiji, twitched his right eyebrow; Oishi gave Eiji a worried look; Kawamura looked determinedly at the opposite side of the court; and Kaidoh answered, "Kikumaru-senpai." Only Inui continued to look unaffected, merely scribbling down data.

Tezuka continued to look at his circle of regulars. Then he sighed. "Around the court, everyone! 20 laps for wasting time!"

"What about the bear hunt?" blurted out Eiji. Everyone else, with the exception of Eiji himself, Inui, and Tezuka, cried out accusingly, "Eiji!" Of course, Ryoma said, "Kikumaru-senpai!" instead of "Eiji!"

"Another 20 laps around for – what?" But everyone was ignoring Tezuka.

"This bear hunt seems like fun!" remarked Fuji.

"And there's an 89 percent chance that both Echizen and Tezuka will not agree to it," said Inui, his glasses gleaming. Ryoma glared at him. It was almost as if he was challenging him. And Ryoma, of course, was not about to back out.

"I'm in," he said automatically.

Fuji's smile widened. "Good," he said, bringing out a big, fluffy bag, "I guess we won't have to resort to kidnapping you."

All of Tezuka's tennis reflexes wouldn't have saved him from the dreadful fate, as he was up against 8 tennis-crazed regulars. They stuffed him in the huge bag.

Though it was embarrassing to be crying out for help, Tezuka decided that there was always a time to ask for help. This was a perfect time.

"Help! Heeell-ppppppp…" Even though Tezuka couldn't see himself, there were two hints that gave it away. One was that he felt himself suffocating. Another was that somebody, most likely Oishi, cried out, "Stop it, minna! Tezuka-buchou's turning BLUE!"

There was a mad scramble to get him out of there. The Seigaku regulars had decided that they quite liked torturing their buchou, but killing him was a bit too drastic.

Tezuka was recovering rapidly already. He massaged his throat and gasped out some gibberish.

"You know," Ryoma decided to point out, "Tezuka-buchou looks like he's trying to say something important." _Very important,_ Ryoma observed quietly to himself. _Why was buchou choking on his own saliva?_

And so he was.

"50 LAPS AROUND THE COURT! NOW!"

"Buh – whu – but what about the bear hunt?" spluttered out Eiji. It had taken up all his courage just to say that.

"Yes, Tezuka," said Inui, his glasses gleaming. "What about it?"

"No way," answered Tezuka. "Now what did I say about the laps?"

"Interesting…" Inui clicked his pen twice and scribbled down, muttering, "Tezuka… seems to… have… a… fear of… bears." His glasses seemed to gleam triumphantly.

"Stop that, Inui," scolded Fuji gently. Ryoma looked at Fuji questioningly. He shook his head slightly and smiled just a little wider. "It's not Kunimitsu's fault that he's scared of bears."

There was a ripple of laughter, and Tezuka suddenly felt as if they were pressuring him, which they probably were.

"I'm going," he demanded. "Try to stop me. Now get going on those laps!"

Ryoma had known that it was going to be a bad day.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Tezuka's a bit out of character, I think... Well, feel free to tell me much. Thanks to my first reviewer! 


	3. The Ingenious Plan

Disclaimer: Eiji and Kaidoh are too cute to belong to me.

* * *

Chapter Three

"Come on!" Momoshiro dragged Ryoma out of the court. In response, Ryoma gave Momoshiro a glare. Unfortunately, Momoshiro was too used to it to feel anything.

"That's strange," Inui pushed up his glasses. "I need to adjust my data."

Ryoma turned his glare at Inui next, but unfortunately, it seemed that the whole tennis team was too used to his abnormally scary glare. He vowed to not say a single word while bear hunting. It would be the "silent treatment." Never mind that it was extremely childish, and was considered school-girl tactics; he'd show them, those stupid regulars.

Ryoma was too busy musing in his head about revenge to realize that something was wrong. But when most of his temper had cooled off considerably, he noticed that something didn't seem quite in order. But in order to tell everybody, he had to break his silent oath. He took the chance.

"Senpai-tachi," he begun. "How are we going to catch the bear without a plan?"

There was a pregnant pause. Even Eiji, who had been ready to shed more tears over a bear, froze in mid-act. Everybody considered the question and continued to think about it.

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Momoshiro, finally breaking the pause. "We use power! Six regulars should be able to overcome a single bear!"

"Yes," hissed the "Viper." Momoshiro looked at him in surprise, until his enemy added, "_Of course _we regulars should be able to overcome a bear with laser beams and magic on his side!" His voice was dripping with so much sarcasm that even Momoshiro could detect it (not saying he was stupid or anything, of course)…

Fuji ignored the fight erupting from both sides, and said thoughtfully, "We should lure the bear out… with a trick up our sleeves." Everyone turned towards the prodigy, awaiting more.

"And?" begged Kawamura, who looked desperate for an excuse to not use violence.

Tezuka, meanwhile, was standing as still as a statue. Occasionally, he would shoot one of the regulars a glare, depending on who was talking at the time. It was obvious that he would not participate in this conversation. Though Ryoma was feeling very similar, he did listen carefully and intended to wake the regulars up into reality.

"Wait a minute," interrupted Oishi. "We have to contact our parents. They need to know that we'll be okay."

"But we might not be," said Fuji mysteriously. His eyes glinted as they opened.

Oishi looked uncomfortable. "We – we do have to take safety measures," he started nervously. "None of us are going to sacrifice our lives for a silly bear." Eiji looked as if he was about to strangle Oishi, so Oishi added hastily, "Well, I mean, our lives are more important than a powerful bear, that Eiji and Momo caught so wonderfully the other day."

Eiji looked much calmer at that, but he still argued, "Oishi! Wouldn't you agree it's more exciting as a secret? And plus, they'd never allow us if we told them the truth!"

"But, senpai, what if one of us dies out there?" ventured Ryoma. Kaidoh looked absolutely terrified at the idea.

"Exactly!" Everybody else chorused.

"We're not going to die out there," said Oishi, though he looked rather doubtful at his own words, "But we should tell our parents, just in case…"

Everyone else agreed with that. Eiji looked as if he wanted to protest further, but he satisfied himself by complaining at how everybody else was against him.

Inui was very impatient to discuss the plan.

"Majority has to rule," he said. "Let's take a quick vote: who wants to use power to knock it out?"

Fuji shook his head before anybody had a chance to raise their hand. "Not all of us has that power," he admitted. He looked pointedly at Kawamura and Momoshiro.

"Fine, fine," hurried Inui. He looked as if he really didn't care about that plan either. "Then how about luring it into the court?"

"What's the other option?" asked Momoshiro, who looked immensely unhappy. Ryoma knew that Momoshiro had expected more excitement.

"There is no other option, according to my green notebook," Inui replied, flipping through the pages. "So let's take it!"

Nobody said anything.

"Okay, here's how it'll go: We study its habits in the forest, find out when it hunts and when it rests, lure it with honey into the courts, and lock it in there!"

Again, nobody said anything. A few minutes later, Ryoma snorted and said, "That plan sucks."

"So, basically," clarified Oishi, "we stalk it for a few days -," (in the background, Ryoma heard Inui protest, "I wouldn't call it stalking…"), "and then we trick the huge bear, most likely making it angrier -," (this time, Inui said that it wouldn't be that angry, "according to my data"), "and by the time we do that, Bear Day will already be over."

"There's always late Bear Day," remarked Inui hopefully.

"No, no," laughed Fuji, "it's brilliant!"

It sounded as if Fuji already had a plan, so everybody turned towards him eagerly. Ryoma even thought he saw Tezuka lean in the group slightly.

"We hide in the shrubs, marking ourselves with the forest scent," begun Fuji. "That way, the bear shouldn't be able to detect our presence." It was just like the tennis genius to think of something quickly.

But he wasn't done yet. "We sneak into the den and leave behind some berries." That sounded ordinary enough. "The berries shall be filled with…" at this point, Fuji's eyes opened sharply, revealing a blindingly bright blue light, "Deadly Nightshade."

Everybody's reaction was clearly not what Fuji expected; his eyes widened in surprise as Tezuka and Ryoma continued to look bored; Momoshiro raised his head and asked, "What did you say? I wasn't listening, sorry,"; Inui nodded approvingly; Kawamura and Oishi stifled a laugh; Kaidoh stared at Fuji as if he was kidding; and Eiji rolled on the ground, laughing.

"AHA-HA-HA!" roared Eiji, curled up into a ball. He was unable to properly stand up, so he continued to stay on his knees. "You're SO kidding! Nobody can kill a bear! Nobody's that evil! Especially not -," and then he stopped, his mirth quickly turning into indignation.

"WHAT?!" He let out an unearthly shriek. "You actually plan to kill an innocent bear! You want to kill MY BEAR?!"

Ryoma half-turned away, remembering Eiji's last tantrum.

"Eiji-senpai, we're not going to kill a bear," said Momoshiro, clamping a heavy hand on his senpai's shoulder. "Right? Fuji was just kidding."

"No, I wasn't," said Fuji cheerfully. Ryoma gritted his teeth, and silently begged Fuji to shut up or correct himself. Fortunately, Fuji wasn't in a sadistic enough mood to watch everyone suffer Eiji's wrath. "But it's okay if you don't want to kill it."

"Then it's agreed!" said the heroic Seigaku regulars. It seemed that even the stupidest of them knew that provoking Eiji was only an attempt to commit suicide.

"Yay!" cheered Eiji. "Tezuka, lean closer into the group!"

Tezuka shook his head. It seemed that he was the only one who dared disagree with Eiji right now. "No, it's okay. I need to go home and tell my parents."

"No need," said Eiji, who looked as if he had caught on Tezuka's sneaky plan. "You can't escape, because I have a cellphone!" He pulled it out dramatically. "Now we can all call our parents!"

As Ryoma waited in line to call his parents, he heaved a heavy sigh. _I need proof to show that this isn't some crazy nightmare…_

He was completely unaware that his captain was doing the same exact thing.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all reviewers! I feel much better about my stories now! I think the next chapter should be where the real action is. 


	4. The Disasterous Attempt

Disclaimer: Though I'd like to own Tennis no Ohjisama, I simply don't.

* * *

Chapter Three: The Disastrous Attempt

"Echizen, unpack quickly and then pitch up the tents," Tezuka commanded. Demanding jobs of other people made him feel better.

"Hai, buchou," Ryoma muttered. So unfair. Tezuka was acting like it was all Ryoma's fault that this whole stupid planning happened. _If he should blame anyone, it should be Eiji-sempai,_ Ryoma thought, glaring at Eiji.

Just when Ryoma set up the last remaining tents, he heard something that nearly busted his eardrums.

"BURNING!" Kawamura's shout rang throughout the forest place where they were camping.

"What? Who gave Taka-san the racket? He needs to conserve the energy for later, when we attack the bear!" Momoshiro cried out.

"No, no, you've got it all wrong," Inui replied calmly. "You see, Taka-san got stung by a bee when he was looking for honey. That's why he feels the need to say that he's burning."

"Wait a minute, speak up. Why would he want money to be free?" Oishi asked loudly, unable to hear because of Eiji's constant chatter.

"No, he wanted honey from a bee," Fuji said in a loud voice. "But why would he want honey? I thought we agreed to kill the bear with deadly nightshade!"

No one replied. This was proof of Fuji's pure evilness. The only sound heard were bugs buzzing around, birds chirping, and Oishi swabbing Kawamura's swollen hand where he was stung. Oishi took Kawamura back to his tent for him to rest.

"Well, we didn't come here to camp. Let's get going with the plan." Tezuka seemed pretty desperate to get out of this place as soon as he could.

Kaidoh, so far, had said nothing. He hissed as if agreeing. Inui jolted down some notes.

"Hmm… I wonder what Inui wrote." Fuji read aloud what Inui just wrote down. "Kaidoh and Tezuka seem to be scared of bears. There is a 79 percent chance that Kaidoh will go out for a jog (noting that a jog is usually an excuse to hide from his fears), and a 97 percent chance that Tezuka will not react much to it, but will give little hints to his fears."

Kaidoh immediately turned red, while Tezuka glared venomously at Inui. "Inui, 60 laps around the camping site."

While Inui set off running, Ryoma checked to make sure he brought nothing that could make Fuji bent on blackmailing him.

"Let's see," Fuji went through an enormous stack of paper about half as tall as Ryoma. "Well, here's our plan!"

Kaidoh and Momoshiro stared in disbelief before yelling, "No way!"

"Oh," Fuji's smile grew wider and wider until it took up a whole bunch of space on his face, "Yes, my plan is a bit complicated." He took out a simple diagram with several stick figures watching the bear's movements and habits.

"Well, first off, Inui has been kind enough to explore the site we chose, and he found the bear's den a few meters away."

"A FEW METERS AWAY!" Everyone except three people shouted.

"Well, wouldn't that be dangerous?" Oishi fussed.

"No, dangerous isn't the point. The point is that the bear could shoot us with the laser eyes and control us with his wizard powers!" Eiji screamed.

No one bothered to point out that what Eiji said was just about the same as dangerous anyway.

"Senpai-tachi, we're not moving," Ryoma said firmly. Everyone stared at him in surprise until he added, "I spent 30 minutes trying to pitch up the tents and all that."

"Minna!" Tezuka bellowed. "Shut up unless you want to run a hundred laps!" Tezuka had a visible vein throbbing on his head. That probably explained why he was so abrupt with threatening them.

No one dared to say anything for a few minutes. That is, until Inui came back from running all these laps. The poor data man panted and asked, "Tezuka, should we start with the plan?"

"100 laps," was the simple reply.

"Huh?" Inui wondered, dazed and confused. He thought Tezuka would want to start with the plan right away.

"100 laps NOW. Go, or I'll make it 120!" Tezuka looked quite dizzy at just arguing, so Inui decided to go.

It was a few minutes and quite a bit of aspirins when Tezuka finally decided to go along with the plan. He grunted, and said, "You can talk now. But only about the plan."

"Hai!" A chorus of voices rang out through the woods. Tezuka winced at the volume.

Fuji immediately started on the plan."How about we send out scouts to investigate the den?" Fuji asked. Tezuka groaned at this comment and said, "Oishi is in charge of the supplies, and Fuji is in charge of the members." He stumbled toward his tent, obviously not feeling well enough to lead.

Fuji continued on, "Alright. Well, now, how about Momo-chan, Eiji-kun, and Echizen are the scouts for the den?"

"Okay." No one felt like arguing. Eiji took the lead, Momoshiro in the middle, and Ryoma stayed behind. He felt the same as Tezuka. A sudden thought occurred to him.

"Eiji-sempai, how'd you catch the bear last time?" Ryoma asked.

"Hoi, hoi! Our ochibi is finally talking!"

"How?" Ryoma didn't want idle chit-chat.

"Well," Eiji paused for a dramatic effect. "I ran around in the forest, and it went straight after me! Then I ran past the tennis court, and it ran straight in the tennis court! I was frightened for a minute, but then I decided to go in the tennis court to check it out, and it was gone! But I knew it was the bear I was looking for, because it had eyes that glowed and shot out a beam at something really small. And it had unnatural powers!"

"Ah! Here's the den!" Momoshiro called out, trying to distract them.

"OH MY GOSH!" Eiji screamed. "There's something alive in the den!"

It was true. There was a large groan and Momoshiro grabbed a stick. "Be prepared!" He hit the dark figure in the cave on the head.

"Ittai!" A voice called out.

"Inui!" Several voices called out. "What are you doing here?"

"I finally finished my hundred laps," he whispered, then fainted.

"What did I say about talking?" Tezuka's voice was low. Apparently, his tent was the closest to the bear's den. To keep themselves safe, no one answered.

"I said that you guys shouldn't bicker like little kids! Always be on your guard!" Tezuka's voice rang out through the woods.

"Actually, buchou, I can't remember you saying that." Ryoma defiantly replied. "And we weren't arguing."

Momoshiro broke into a heavy sweat. He decided to defend Tezuka. "Echizen, you can't remember anything!"

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed! I appreciate it. And okay, I'm sorry to disappoint those who thought this chapter would have the real action. But I promise, the next chapter will. 


	5. The Weird Investigation

Disclaimer: Ha, no one but the guy who made the manga and the anime Prince of Tennis can own it! So I'm not involved with it.

* * *

Chapter Four: The Strange Investigations

"Well, we didn't get to investigate the bear's den completely, Oishi! Inui popped up and scared us, nyah!" Eiji reviewed over their little incident.

"Yeah, and Momochan-semapi hit Inui-sempai on the head with a stick," Ryoma muttered. He found that funny, but no one was laughing, so why should he?

Inui lay unconscious over Momochan-sempai's shoulder. "Well, how was it my fault? I thought he was the stupid bear!"

And on they continued, trying their best to ignore Tezuka's constant glares.

"And then I found them outside, yelling like little kids. They weren't on their guards in case the bear comes back from hunting." Tezuka's cold voice stopped everyone. Everyone held their breaths, waiting for the final command of laps. But none came.

"Now that you brought Inui back," Fuji smiled politely, "You guys can investigate where the bear likes eating. Make sure that you blend in with the shrubs by wiping yourself with berry juice, and hiding in the bushes.

"We need to do this so that we know where we should put the deadly nightshade." Fuji finally ended. There was more silence, and a cough by Oishi.

"No, Fuji, we're going to use Taka-san and Momoshiro-kun to knock it out," Oishi patiently said.

_Gee, how can he find the patience for Fuji-sempai? Constantly thinking up the most evil things. _Ryoma thought as he glared at Fuji. He was certain that Fuji was planning up some evil scheme.

"Really?" Fuji blinked innocently. "Well, I must've forgotten! Anyhow, you three are going back to examine the den. The den will probably have one entrance/exit, but the bear shoots out laser beams, so it could accidentally make another hole. See which clearing is best for luring the bear out, so the two powerhouses can knock it out."

Oishi, who was responsible for the materials, gathered some berries and smeared it all over the trio's clothes.

Eiji started to complain, and Ryoma felt like joining him. _Gosh, _he thought. _Just the sort of thing Fuji-sempai would make us do. Making us messy like this! I don't mind messy, but the berry doesn't exactly smell so good either._

"Have fun there!" Kawamura smiled nervously. _Have fun there? Have fun hiding in the bushes with sticky berry juice all over, trying to study a bear? Yeah, right._ Ryoma snorted.

They made their way over to several feeble clumps of shrubs. Of course, Ryoma fit in perfectly, and Eiji had to make some tight adjustments (involving flexible exercises), but Momoshiro stood visibly in the bush. They tried their best to adjust to it.

"Ouch! Ochibi, can't you squish in a little further? Momoshiro-kun is killing me!"

"Don't want to."

"Echizen! Just move it!"

"No, I won't."

"Grr!"

The noise was so loud; the three of them didn't even notice the bear slowly approaching them. The curious bear hovered above them, wanting to find the cause of all this noise, and why the bush was rattling so hard. They didn't notice until the bear roared.

"ROAR!" The bear made some unrealistic roar, but no one noticed.

"And who the heck are you to roar at us-what the freak, it's the bear!" Momoshiro yelled.

"Momochan-sempai, this is entirely your fault!" With that Ryoma ran. Eiji ran after him.

"Little Ochibi's right!"

Momoshiro somehow caught up with them, and they lay, panting hard.

"We can't just lay here. We have to do what we're supposed to do." Ryoma said as soon as he caught his breath.

"One minute," Eiji and Momoshiro said, and after a few seconds, they revived too.

They found some good, quality bushes that were closer to the side of the bear's den, but they still had a good view.

They watched for a few minutes, and nothing happened.

"Nothing's happening!" Eiji said quite loudly.

"Shush, sempai! The bear is coming!" Ryoma whispered. Indeed, it was true. The bear wandered over to their direction. It made a metallic clank as it roared.

"How come it's making a metallic-," Momoshiro was interrupted by two hands clamping his mouth.

The bear sniffed them, and started to randomly lick the bushes. Unfortunately, the tongue was long enough to reach Eiji, who started to laugh.

"Ah-hah-hah, it tickles!"

The bear flicked its ear, and backed away from the bushes. It came back towards its den, and shot out a laser beam. A second later, it disappeared.

"Well," Ryoma said after a brief shocking second, "It's best to attack the bear near the bushes where we were hiding."

"Yeah, we better report everything," Momoshiro stood up and stretched himself. "Including that weird moment where the bear shot out laser beams and disappeared."

The trio made their way over to the camp, and Eiji reported everything with a super fast speed.

"And-then-the-bear-shot-out-laser-and-disappeared!" He finished.

There was a stunned silence, and everyone started to laugh in disbelief. Eiji, not knowing why they were laughing, rolled around, laughing the hardest.

"It's true," Ryoma said. There was another pause. Somehow, hearing it two times made them start to believe it.

"Well, then, where should we attack him?" Fuji asked with his eyes wide.

"It's best to attack him while he's eating the berries of the bush on the right side of the den," Momoshiro said, trying to sound smart.

"No," Eiji exclaimed, "It was the left side!"

"Yeah, it was the left side," Ryoma agreed.

"And where should Seigaku's powerhouses hide until they attack?" Tezuka said with his same authority.

"Um… Err…. Eto, eto…" No one had ever considered that.

"Do you guys know?" He questioned.

"Not really."

"Then the team will come investigate with you," Tezuka said. "Taka-san said that his hand was feeling better, and it definitely isn't as swollen as much as it was before."

"Hmm… How could a bee's sting heal so quickly?" Ryoma wondered out loud.

"Are you questioning my authority?" Tezuka, for some strange reason, asked. "Well, if you are, thanks to you, everyone has to run 30 laps around the campsite!"

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for reviewing, reviewers! (#1 Suspect: Fuji, eh?) This chapter is the real action of investigating multiple times, so I kept my promise. The next chapter will be the part of the solution to the mystery. Now that you've read this far, please review! 


	6. The Real Deal

Disclaimer: Tennis no Ohjisama belongs to a Japanese guy, and I'm Chinese/American, so it can't possibly belong to me.

* * *

Chapter Five: The Real Deal

"Thanks a lot, Ochibi!" Eiji lay on the ground, panting hard. He stared hard at Ryoma, making him uncomfortable. "You made Tezuka-kun angry!"

"No," said Inui. He was calmer than the rest of the regulars because he was knocked out when Tezuka told everyone to run, so he obviously couldn't run.

"No? What do you mean by that? Wasn't it because of Echizen that all of us had to run?" Momoshiro questioned.

"Tezuka felt the need to regain his authority as a captain after letting Oishi and I lead the hunt," Fuji explained. "And now, we must continue with the hunt before it's too late for even Late Bear Day."

"Hmm…" Ryoma just realized something. "Bear Day isn't a real traditional holiday, is it?" _No way can it be traditional, _Ryoma thought. _I've never heard of it!_

"No, it isn't," Fuji smiled. "Inui and I made it up for Seigaku."

Ryoma had to hold in a gasp. So his suspicions were right! He wondered whether Fuji had anything to do with certain girls, a brick wall, a teddy bear, and the real bear.

Tezuka appeared with Kawamura in front of his tent. "Minna, let's go."

So the regulars trekked off, looking quite ridiculous because of multiple reasons: one of them having to do with Kawamura carrying a racket and yelling gibberish (in the middle of a forest), and another one having to do with three certain regulars that didn't wash off the berry juice they used to blend in the shrubs.

"Now," Tezuka examined the den and its surroundings, "If there are no other options, then we'll just have to do with that bush where the scouts were hiding."

"But there is another option," Inui pointed out. "If we want to attack the bear when it is eating the berries of this bush, then it's best to attack him from behind. We can hide in these huge clumps of wild grass. We might get a little messy, but we can fit right in if we lay down."

"But what's all this talk about 'we'?" Fuji grinned. "Isn't it only Taka-san and Momoshiro-kun who's going to be staying there?" Everyone had a feeling that Fuji had a new plan developing, so no one said anything.

"Well," Fuji continued. "We can climb up in those high trees where the bear will never reach us, but we can witness him safely. But what if the bear attempts to go for us? Or what if he's more interested to hunt for salmons in a creek instead of looking for berries in a bush? Well, Eiji-kun can go stay in the bushes and lure and distract the bear. If the bear attacks, well," Fuji chuckled softly. "Eiji-kun will have good running practice." At this, Eiji was expected to turn pale, but Eiji cheered.

"Wow! That sounds like fun! Kikumaru's acrobatics! Don't worry; I will be a great diversion!" Eiji laughed.

"Are you sure you're okay with it, Eiji?" Oishi asked, signs of being worried etched across his face.

"Yes!" Momoshiro completely ignored what Oishi asked. "Let's go!"

Kaidoh had not said a thing that whole time. He hissed again to control his fear of the bear. "Fuji-sempai, no one else but Eiji-sempai, Momo, and Taka-san are doing the action, right?"

Fuji looked ominous as he giggled. "Kaidoh, do you want to do something? Do you want to distract the bear along with Eiji-kun?"

"No!" Kaidoh looked horrified at the thought.

"Heh, Mamushi's scared." Momoshiro was visibly enjoying provoking Kaidoh.

Kaidoh was going to retaliate, but he felt sick, so he merely hissed. Fuji's grin stretched as he grabbed his camera. "This will be known as a Higuma Otoshi memory," he said as he climbed up the tree. Everyone else, except Kawamura, Eiji and Momoshiro, followed him.

Ryoma glared at Fuji. He shouldn't have. Fuji nodded at him and Ryoma flinched.

"Ooh, come here, you bear! Remember when I caught you? I want to catch you again!" Eiji's way of luring the bear here was not a good way. But it worked. The bear seemed to understand, and it roared.

"Ah, you're coming! Give Kikumaru Eiji a big hug!" Eiji's eyes were as big as saucers. He didn't look scared at all.

The bear blundered toward Eiji, who was now doing a handstand around the bushes. Eiji fell, and the bear lunged.

"Oh gosh, Eiji, RUN!" Oishi called out, very worried for Eiji. There was no need to, for Eiji ran straight on TOP and OVER the bear.

"Heh, heh! See you when you get knocked out!" Unfortunately, Eiji seemed to slip. But Ryoma, who had sports vision, could swear that he saw Eiji go THROUGH the bear. _Is this right? How can Eiji-sempai go through a bear?_

"Hey! I went through him! I know, because my acrobatic play would never fail me!" Eiji was actually yelling this because first off, he was quite certain that he didn't slip, and second of all, he didn't want to look bad.

The bear shot out laser beams somewhere near Eiji.

"No, get back, Eiji!" Oishi, Kawamura, and Tezuka shouted at the same time. Everyone else watched in stunned horror. But strangely enough, the bear disappeared. There was only silence.

"What the-what just happened?" Momoshiro stepped out of the wild grass to examine the thing that the bear just shot. It looked perfectly normal, as if nothing had ever hit it with laser beams.

With some difficulty, Fuji and Inui jumped down the tree. Inui looked slightly worried, and Fuji had his usual "hard-to-see-through" expression.

"I'm alright, I'm okay!" Eiji waved and grinned cheekily.

"Eh? Isn't this a hologram machine? An awfully tiny one, at that." Fuji bent down and studied it carefully.

Ryoma gaped. The pieces all fit together. "FUJI-SEMPAI! You did this!"

"Huh?" Fuji looked bewildered, but he quickly changed his expression. "Me? Well, maybe, or maybe not."

"Fuji-kun! That's not nice!" Eiji, Momoshiro, Oishi, and Kawamura said at the same time.

Tezuka shook his head disapprovingly. He should've known. Well, at least the crappy style of bear hunting was over. Or so he thought.

Kaidoh hissed at the thought of being led to fear by Fuji. A trick? He wouldn't admit it, but that was very mean.

"Wait a minute-wait, wait!" There was no mistaking it this time. Fuji was genuinely surprised.

Inui closed his eyes and his data book. He couldn't stand to see Fuji like that. Especially when this whole thing was his fault. He wasn't this mean. Besides, how was he supposed to know that his teammates would act like that? They never obeyed the law of data. So he raised his hand and spoke three words, "I did it."

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for reviewing, FL1P-flop, Sephyrah, and KiriharaAkaya. The next chapter explains everything. Please review, telling me what I did good, and my mistakes, before I continue to Chapter 7. 


	7. The Crazy Truth

Disclaimer: As usual… Tennis no Ohjisama is too good to belong to me… So I don't own it.

* * *

Chapter Six: The Crazy Truth

"Inui, you will explain yourself, and then do 200 laps around the tennis court." Tezuka ordered, desperately hoping to go home as quickly as possible.

"Now wait!" Inui begged. "It's 9:00 P.M! Why don't I just explain in the morning? We came this far and even pitched up the tents! There's no need to rush through."

"Here, Taka-san," Fuji looked back to his creepy self. "I think you might need this." He handed Kawamura a racket, and Kawamura reluctantly took it.

"BURNING!" He yelled, maniacally waving the racket all around. "YOU WILL EXPLAIN NOW!"

Eiji swung his head toward Inui. "Inui, that was a mean trick!" He squealed. "I'm never going to trust you again!"

Oishi raised an eyebrow, and Eiji revised his words. "Fine, I'll trust you after two weeks."

In the end, Tezuka made the final decision. "Everyone, we're heading back to the campsite. Inui will explain, and then we'll spend just one night here." Everyone could hear him emphasizing the words, "one night."

They headed back to the campsite.

"Well," Inui began. "I know you guys are eagerly waiting for an explanation. That's a 100 percent chance."

"Inui, you don't want to stall," said Fuji, his voice deadly. "I want to know why several people thought I was responsible for this mess." Everyone stared at him, and he suddenly raised his voice to a lighter pitch. "And how did you get that hologram?"

Inui took a deep breath. "I needed more data," he explained. "I noticed several people were getting better at covering up their true identity. Fuji was obviously one of them. But Tezuka and Ryoma were also getting better at this. Kaidoh was also wary of me. So I decided to start something creative, something that doesn't have to do with tennis.

"I needed to test out who would snap first." Inui's eyes glinted mysteriously.

"What do you mean by that?" questioned quite a lot of people.

"Well, snapping means to go crazy. Who would be on the last of their nerves, and suddenly snap?" He responded to the blank stares they were giving him.

"Fuji was also thinking of starting something fun. He told me about making a new holiday, and I thought that this was a perfect opportunity. So we made up Bear Day. I created a hologram of a bear, and took a picture of it.

"Now, I decided that my first test subject would be Eiji. So I showed him the picture of the bear, and Eiji, with his perfect vision, saw 3.5 cm of the hologram's laser flash. So Eiji overreacted and said that he'd catch it for Bear Day."

"Inui!" Eiji whined. "You were the one to tell me to catch it for Bear Day!"

Tezuka, who sat glaring at Inui, suddenly panicked. He wanted to see exactly what data Inui got of him. He grabbed the data book, and read aloud, "Chance of Eiji snapping first: 3 percent."

"Ah yes," Inui beamed. "I've discovered that Kikumaru-,"

"The story!" Everyone yelled.

"Oh yeah," Inui slumped down. "Eiji told Momo, and Momo didn't seem to mind the craziness of it."

"Chance of Momoshiro snapping first: 3 percent," Tezuka read while glaring.

"I told Fuji about the whole thing, and Fuji got stiff. Apparently, he didn't like me spreading the news of this new holiday before we had a chance to surprise everyone."

"Chance of Fuji snapping first:25 percent (note that Fuji will not show it easily)," Tezuka read aloud once again.

"I took a teddy bear and put it in the same neighborhood with Ryoma lives. He was my next victim," Inui looked scary. "And I hide in the shrubs and talked to Ryoma. The point was to make Ryoma think that the teddy talked. I got lots of data from that."

"Chance of Ryoma snapping first:32 percent." No need to say who read it.

"All the girls dressed up for Bear Day. Someone even put a poster of a bear on the wall! Everyone loved to celebrate that holiday."

"Ahem," interrupted Tezuka. He glared pointedly at Inui. "Continue."

"Err," Inui stumbled over his words before continuing. "Eiji thought that he caught the bear, just because the hologram ran over to the tennis court."

"Hey!" Eiji shouted. "How did the bear shoot out laser beams and disappear?"

"Before the hologram machine makes the image disappear, there is always some reaction to the image. This image's reaction was to have its eyes gleam at the machine.

"Now, the next part was easy. There was a 75 percent chance that Eiji would want to catch the bear. I just had to say that there was a 89 percent chance that Tezuka would not agree and see how he'd react."

"Chance of Tezuka snapping first," Tezuka hesitated. Everyone silently willed him on. "39 percent chance."

"Didn't Tezuka snap?" Eiji dared to ask. "When he told everyone to shut up?"

"No," Fuji replied. "Tezuka didn't go crazy, did he? No, he just had a headache. Now please continue, Inui."

"It was easier to get Kaidoh's data. They showed it whenever they talked."

"Chance of Kaidoh snapping first: 23 percent." Tezuka once again read.

"Oishi and Taka-san had absolutely no chance of snapping," Inui said without Tezuka reading it. "They were too calm. And I was hoping that you guys would use my plan for bear hunting, but Fuji's plan also worked.

"I asked Taka-san to search for some honey, and he did. I grabbed the latest Inui juice and followed him. I sprayed it on him with a water gun, and it swelled up. That shows how strong the juice is!" Inui looked proud for a moment. "And it also resembled a bee sting, but it heals faster."

"Oh," Ryoma finally said something. "That explains what I was thinking."

Inui briefly nodded at Ryoma. "I decided to put the hologram bear's den only a few meters away from our camping site. Unfortunately, I had to run laps. But that gave me a good opportunity to check on how the bear was going. However, I was caught by Momo, Ryoma, and Eiji."

"Oh," Momoshiro finally said. "That's what you were doing when I bonked you on the head."

"Then, I needed to get rid of everything, now that I was done with my data. So I thought up a plan that you guys were supposed to follow. But Fuji interfered again, and decided that most of us should climb up in trees. My plan was ruined. And then you guys found me out." He lowered his head.

"Oh," Eiji finally said. "That's why Fuji looked so surprised."

Tezuka was looking quite red. He gasped for breaths, as if he was so angry he couldn't even breathe. Finally, he exploded and yelled, "500 LAPS, EVERYONE!" Inui was right. Tezuka was the first one to snap.

* * *

Author's Note: This is the last chapter… There'll be an Epilogue, but it'll be as short as the Prologue. Thank you guys (KiriharaAkaya, Sephyrahand Old Fiat) for reviewing! To KiriharaAkaya: Thanks for checking any major mistakes anyway. To Sephyrah: I'm glad you like it this way now. Truthfully, I was also getting tired of writing Ryoma's "suspicions." To Old Fiat: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you thought this was funny. 


	8. The Insane Ending

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm not famous at all... Sometimes, I really wish I own one of the characters from Tennis no Ohjisama, like Fuji or Inui.

* * *

Epilogue: The Insane Ending

"Captain of Seigaku Tennis Team, Tezuka Kunimitsu, has been sent to the hospital where he is now pronounced insane and will not be able to attend any practices for about a week." Ryuuzaki Sumire, the coach of the team read aloud from a newspaper article. "So it's all up to you, Oishi! Lead this team well!" She patted the crestfallen Oishi on the back.

Ryoma shuddered as he remembered Tezuka snapping.

_**Flashback**_

_"500 LAPS AROUND THE COURT!" He had screamed, his face red. He was choking on his own rage, hardly able to breathe. At first, it was merely anger, but it turned into rage._

_"Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha! MUA-HA-HA-HA! Puny fools! You can't have my data!" He turned away from his awestruck team and began talking to Inui's data book. "Would you like to spill it? Would you? Would you?"_

_It didn't stop here. It just got worse. "Would you? Would you? Would you? Would you?" He sang, prancing around. Seeinghis captain dance around was not funny, especially if afterwards, he knocked himself and another regular student out by bashing both their head together... And that regular student happened to be Ryoma._

_**End Flashback**_

Ryoma shook his head, glad that he didn't snap first. He never told anyone, but at one point, he thought he was about to snap. He heard jackhammers in his head, felt pecks in his brain, and sensed a sudden "ding" go through his head.

But… then… maybe he would be the second to snap. _That's very disturbing, _he thought.

Sakuno Ryuuzaki, the coach's granddaughter, had been watching Ryoma's actions for quite a while now. She watched in confusion as he shivered from some unknown memory, his eyes glazed. Her eyes widened as Ryoma shook his head, as if clearing away some thoughts.

Sakuno glanced at Ryoma once again. She straightened up in determination. "Yes, I'm Ryoma-kun's cheerleader!" she muttered to herself. "I'm here to cheer Ryoma-kun on! So I better cheer him up!"

She fixed the polar bears on her braids, and nervously walked over.

"Ano… Ryoma-kun?" Oh great. She already forgot what she was going to say to him. She twisted her braids anxiously, and noticed Ryoma's eyes fixed on her braids.

She flushed a sudden shade of red, and took a deep breath. "Ryoma-kun… Eto, eto... You didn't look well over there. Are you okay?"

Ryoma couldn't help staring at her polar bear braids. Right before the Ryuuzaki girl came over to him, his last thought was, _If I see one more bear, I might as well puke._ Well, here was his chance to puke.

So he screamed. _Oh yes, nice move, Ryoma. _He couldn't think anymore. He actually heard a little "ding" in his brain before he snapped.

Thrusting himself at Sakuno, he tackled her and tried his best to remove the "horrible braids of wrath" from his sight.

He screamed multiple times, and, still pointing at Sakuno, banged his head against the wall. Sakuno grabbed his arm to prevent any further damage, but blushed at the sudden contact, and merely backed away, bewildered.

Inui and the regulars, who were watching this fascinating scene, giggled mischievously.

Inui lifted up his data book, flipped to a certain page, and pointed at it. The regulars read it. "Chance of Echizen snapping after Tezuka: 99.9 percent." He flipped to another page and couldn't help adding, "Chance of Echizen paying attention to Ryuuzaki after snapping: 72 percent."

"Ooh," Eiji almost screamed with mirth. "Ochibi has a girlfriend now!"

Inui chuckled and his glasses gleamed. "Never doubt the power of data."

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciated all of the reviews. I added a tiny hint of RyoSaku in here because my reviewers seem to like this pairing and this epilogue is dedicated to them! It was fun writing this. 


End file.
